Losing The Moral High Ground — How does it feel?
It feels bad, very bad.
Yet very comforting knowing I have one less shackle placed upon my thick yet feeble neck through the constructs of societal laws and norms.
Sweet sorrow
Yes “sweet sorrow ” — a phrase that wraps up all that is in the feeling. Being able to look at the world and assign blame without succumbing to the temptations in it yourself. The easy way out. The quick way. Thinking of yourself to be the philosophical chasm of all that is “moral and right” gives you confidence like never before. Take that away and what is left? An empty shell? A hypocritical waste of an existence?
All that remains is a Human being
A human with all the flaws of a typical human. A realist and practical son of a bitch who should spend the rest of their life regretting that moment of change — The great fall from the utopian castle of “I am better than you all, more right more moral and more everything my mind can think of”.
The shackles are off though, and the hole is deep. Many more miles to fall through and no end in sight. It's no use chasing that high ground it's now beyond reach. You could say trying to regain one’s pure and moral position is in itself a lack of freedom. Another shackle placed on one's self, this time not by society or unseen laws but my one's self. I do not need to tell you that shackles placed by the mind on the mind are made of deeper steel than any other kind — in a league of its own.
You could say these are pitiful cries of a perfectionist, of a child who just woke up to the realization that they are similar in every way to billions of others just like them, NOT SPECIAL. I would not argue with you. In many ways, I am a child. I know this, I resent this and I like this, but so are you (yes a child-like response).
I am tired of thinking and grumbling. There is still a long way to fall.
